Wine in a heart mug is the best way to watch

So I'm a day late watching this, because yesterday I had to go to a banquet for mlk. It was a very grown up thing to do, because I am a very grown up person. 

The bachelor episode starts with all the "coming up on this episode," and it looks like it's gonna be a good one! Someone gets called a child and someone else gets called a whore. Here we go. 

Cassandra got the first date, probably because JP recognizes that Michigan girls are the best kind. She has a son and is only 21! Their date starts with a drive in a jeep, then all of a sudden they are driving in the water, so I guess this jeep is like the Wild Thornberry's RV. Not a bad first date! Then they cook dinner together at his house and dance to Latin music. Jealous, Amy? Also they made out in the ocean. Also her baby is definitely some kind of ethnic. 

Renée, back at the house, continues to be the most socially graceful and nice contestant, also she is age appropriate for JP and a mom already, so she's my favorite. 

This is the photo quality that comes of phone blogging

The group date had a lot of people I can't remember, but not Elise and Chelsie or Claire and Kat. 

The group date is a soccer game: SURPRISE! Ali (the nanny) thinks she'll be the best. The 10 women have to split in two teams and play, so they get pretty competitive like winning will be the only way to marry JP. They were all provided with gold sports bras, which everyone knows enhance performance. Sharleen kept getting hit by th ball but took it like a champ. She's another favorite. 

Juan Pablo jersey in the background

Back at the house, Elise pretty much hates chelsie but pretends not to. She thinks she's getting the next one in one, which obviously means she won't. Chelsie does, more to come later. 

So the group date involved some drama at the end. JP kissed too many girls and they all think they've got the rose in the bag. Jokes on (most of) them. Nikki gets it! And the nurse didn't even have to stick her tongue in his mouth for it. 

For Chelsie's date, she had to "trust him," so she prepares by picking a pair of TOMs to wear. Elise still thinks he loves her, idiot. 

Elise talks to yet another woman about how secure her connection with JP is

Chelsie and JP get Venezuelan food and sky dive, which is pretty similar to every date I've ever been on. I think they had bubble tea, too! Just like Rachael! To test how much Chelsie trusts the man she just met a few weeks ago and who is dating 14 other women, JP throws her off a bridge. She passes and gets the rose. They also do some upside down snogging, Spider-Man style. 

After the usual 12 hour freak-out, they jump

Before the cocktail party, JP cooks the ladies breakfast and they have a little pool party and Kat puts JPs head in her crotch. Actually they just played chicken, so it was less gross than that. 

Well the rose ceremony had it's typical level of women complaining about not getting enough time and feeling insecure and to cut to the chase, Lucy and Christy go home. We will miss Lucy's free spirit, but probably not Christy because no one knew who she was anyway. I'm taking bets now to guess when Sharleen leaves

Well now I'm off to watch Denise play broom all, peace out!