May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

So Clare gets one-on-one date numero uno.  JP comes to pick her up at the mansion and takes her to the same place where he and Camila played in the snow.  It's now a romantically lit winter wonderland with a full blown ice rink, sledding, and a hot tub of course.  The good news is I kind of feel like I'm on the Bachelor since Blakely Court is also an ice rink these days.  Clare spends a really long time talking about her dad and JP gives her a rose.  Then music is suddenly playing!  They get out of the hot tub to find Josh Krajcik, whoever the heck that is, singing a private concert for them.  They dance and make out (duh) and it fake snows, which Clare is for some reason overly excited about.  Basically a normal bachelor date with minimal weirdness.  Back at the mansion, a bunch of the girls go in the pool.  Lucy (Lucinda) is topless obviously.  Also, Kat gets the second one-on-one date card.  

Kat is a dancer, and JP apparently lovesss dancers (I totally should have tried out for the show!).  They head to the airport and take a private jet to Utah.  JP pretends to be her seatbelt, so that's a little weird. Then they both change into light up outfits with light savers and lots of glowy things.  Turns out that they are going to a neon light up 5k run and they are the ones who start the race! But it's not reallyyyy a race because the whole crowd stops to dance every once in a while.  When they finally get to the end, there is a stage and JP and Kat are called up on it.  They dance some more and he gives her a rose.  No kissing though.

Group date time!  All the girls except for a few go to a warehouse for a photo shoot.  The guy in charge: a man with a turquoise beard.  The girls will be taking photos with dogs to help get them adopted.  Each girl is assigned a dog and then their costumes, hair, and makeup are done to match the dog.  Most girls are excited, but Elise and Andi get the shaft.  Their costumes are just cardboard signs covering their boobs and junk.  Both of them are super unexcited about this, and luckily Elise gets Lucy to trade her ketchup/fire hydrant costume for Elise's sign costume....since she is "happy to take off her top, as always" and then goes for a naked walk with her dog on the side of the road.  During the photo shoot, there are lots of yummy shots of shirtless JP ;)  But the best picture comes when JP agrees to be in the cardboard sign photo with Andi.  There is a whole series of pictures with totally naked Andi, JP, and Lucy all up against each other with their dogs.  Awkward...

Highlights from later in the group date:
*Cassandra tells JP she has a two year old son. She also keeps calling him Juan which I hate
*Victoria gets smashed and says she's gonna straddle JP every day because "life is about straddling people". Also, she "gave Juan Pablo the hymen maneuver"and saved his life??  She starts screaming and says she wants to leave...and lucky for her, JP sends her home the next morning.  Smart man.
*Renee wants to kiss JP but doesn't.  But she gets points for being nice and taking care of psycho Victoria while she's having her drunken meltdown
*Nikki, the peds nurse, is obviously awesome
*Kelly gets the rose

The "hymen maneuver"

And at the cocktail hour...
*JP talks to all the girls who didn't get a date
*Amy does another interview about herself
*Charlene apologizes for being rude when he gave her the first impression rose
*Cassandra is sad because she misses her son, but Renee reassures her and they bond over their mommyness.  I really like Renee...probably more than Nikki even though she's not a nurse

And the rose ceremony...
*Amy and Chantel go buh-bye

Whew! Someone else's turn for week 3!