Who Run the World?

I've recently had an epiphany (not to be confused with an Epiph-a-party, which can be enjoyed on or around January 6) about the role of women in Detroit and probably the whole world. Actually epiphany is probably not the right word, but I'm trying to make Epiph-a-party happen so I had to throw that in there. Anyway, in another post that will not be focused on the bachelor, I'm just gonna ramble to you about some feminist thoughts and complaints. I apologize for the rambling, but not for the feminism.

Beyoncé knows the answer to this blog title

I'll start with last weekend, when I made the decision to depress myself by watching the 2-part-4-hour documentary Half the Sky (available on Netflix, in case you also want to be really sad). The reason that this was so depressing was because the movie is about a book that is about gender inequality and the abuse and suffering of women around the world. It's actually a pretty well done documentary, although I won't pretend to be as much of an expert as Taylor and Rachael who frequently study this genre of film. They take 6 actresses to 6 different African and Asian countries where they focus on 6 issues like maternal mortality, human trafficking, prostitution, and other cheerful facets of the human experience. Basically me and George Clooney got our feminist on together and I cried periodically with my chocolate milk in a freezing basement.

The movie is a little uplifting, see they are smiling

So I started my week with these gender issues in my head, and I started to put together some things that I've realized over the past 22 (almost 23!!) years of my life. We shall begin with Detroit: there are a lot of women here. Seriously, I feel confused by where all the men are, because theoretically there should be equal male/female births but everywhere I go it seems like a bunch of ladies. My house is all women, and actually most of the service corps that we have met here are most/all female. My office is like 90% women, which is pretty typical for a social service agency and social work profession. When I go to do outreach visits at Head Start or other pre-schools, the teachers are all women. At foster care agencies when I go to talk to staff meetings, there might be one man in the room, and he's usually a supervisor. I have literally never seen a male receptionist or nurse at the doctors' offices when I go to talk to them about referring patients to us for mental health services (look, as a bonus I just explained 75% of what I do at my job!). I think the only place in Detroit where I see men are at gas stations and hanging out on the side walk where they usually ask for my name/number or make lewd comments to me that start with "Hey white girl!" Because who doesn't want a little sexual harassment while she's pumping gas?

This is how I feel about that.

So there's all these women around me basically running the city by working in all these service positions and then going home and taking care of their children. Here are some statistics I looked up: 61.7% of Detroit households are run by a single parent, with about 16,000 single dads and over 125,000 single moms. Still, every mayor Detroit's ever had has been a man, just like every president of the US and every CEO of a major auto company until now. What's up with that?

Probably how Mary Barra feels about that

So I change my mind pretty regularly on which diseases I am going to study (and probably cure) once I go back to school next fall, but lately I've been thinking I should probably focus on women's health, maybe maternal/infant health, because women are the best and I hate men. Not really, but women are really great and I think we should all just celebrate how much they do for our communities and our world. Like, besides bringing life into this world, we also get shit done.

I also should mention that I am reading Bossypants (finally after I got it a year ago for my birthday), and Tina Fey, besides being a hilarious woman and strong feminist, doesn't care for dogs. So take that all you people who think I'm heartless. Really, I'm just the next Tina Fey.

Here's one lady I'd like to brunch with

Life in the Bachelor Lane

Hello everyone, and welcome to Week 4 of The Bachelor! It was quite a wild ride, so buckle in and hold onto your teeth. Juan Pablo started off the episode by announcing that they were all going to South Korea! How exciting! This seems a little bit early for an international trip to me, but maybe they're making an exception for Juan Pablo because he's foreign and they're confused about what that means for the rules about when to go abroad.

This is where Korea is, for those who are geographically challenged. South Korea is fine to go to, but you don't want to make a mistake and end up in North Korea on accident. Unless you bring Dennis Rodman with you.

The announcement that this week there would be two group dates and one solo date was also made. One of the group dates was announced first. This week, JP decided to split the group mostly into blondes and brunettes, and the blondes got the first date. Nikki, Kat, Cassandra, Chelsie, and some other people I don't remember went on this date. Nikki was upset about being on the group date because she doesn't have a sister and so naturally that means that she hates all women. The clue to the date was "POP," which led Cassandra to speculate that maybe they were going to make popcorn, but SURPRISE, actually they were learning how to dance with the K-Pop group 2ne1.

They are sort of like the Korean Spice Girls--from left to right: Brown, Goth, Technicolor, and Cutout Spice.

Juan Pablo claimed that K-Pop is taking over American, which must mean that this was filmed when "Gangnam Style" was popular, because I can't think of any other reason that he would make that comment. Anyway, the dancing was a source of upset to Nikki because she is not a good dancer, and this also added on to her general grumpiness. (Although, to be fair, I also would not want to be on a date that highlighted how completely uncoordinated I am.) Kat was super excited though. She said that she has been dancing since before she could even walk--she was doing the Worm as a baby, maybe? She bragged non-stop about what a good dancer she is and everyone ignored the fact that Cassandra used to be an NBA dancer and is also probably pretty good. Afterwards, the group went to a 2ne1 concert and got to dance onstage even though let's be real, none of the screaming fans of 2ne1 knew who Juan Pablo or any of the girls are.

They had the concert at a mall, leading my dad and I to argue about whether the concert was free or not. Please vote on this issue in order to help us solve the debate.

During the evening part of the date, Nikki threw shade all over Kat for being a fancy-pants show off dancer. Even though everyone agreed that Kat was annoying, for some reason they all banded together against Nikki and now everyone thinks that she is the Negative Nancy of the group. Kat was oblivious to all of this because she was off macking on JP at the time.

"Hi, I'm Nikki the elf fairy and I will mess you up if you dance too good."

In spite of the general consensus of the girls that Nikki was a downer, Juan Pablo is his own man, he makes his own opinions, and he gave Nikki the rose for the night, so she will live to see another week.

Next, we had the solo date--Sharleen got picked this week. In classic Sharleen style, she seemed remarkably un-excited about this. I mean, come on, the girl responded "...sure" when JP asked if she would accept the first impression rose. I can't decide if I like Sharleen. She's pretty much the first girl in Bachelor history to decide that she needs to get to know the bachelor before declaring her undying love for him, but also she's just really bland--which is ironic, because she made this big speech to Juan Pablo about how he is NOT bland and then had to explain to him what bland means.

Anyways, their date was fine, except for the minor speed bump of her having to awkwardly explain that she feels semi-uncomfortable with the fact that he has a daughter. She got a rose at the end of the night, too.

Sharleen sings opera, but did not wear this costume when she sang for JP on their date.

Finally, we had the second group date. This date was mostly the brown haired ladies--people I can remember include Renee, Lauren, Andi, Kelly, and Clare. They walked around in Seoul and just kind of investigated a market. Everyone agreed that Clare is really annoying and possessive of Juan Pablo. She also had a panic attack when they tried octopus--which, really? Octopus isn't even that weird of a food. They also went to one of those places where you stick your feet in water and little fish come and eat all of your dead skin. In a octopus v. dead foot skin challenge, I would eat octopus every time.

During the evening portion of the date, we got to see that while the blonde girls were mostly unwilling to trash talk about Kat, the brunettes were super willing to trash talk about Clare. Kelly and Andi did fun impersonations of Clare freaking out about the octopus. Then they immediately cut to Clare talking to Juan Pablo and saying, "Oh my God, I ate octopus!" which was pretty good editing if you ask me.

Juan Pablo had arbitrarily decided that he wasn't going to kiss anyone on this night, either because 1) There was someone specific he didn't want to kiss and thought it would be easier to just say he wasn't kissing anyone? or 2) He felt like being sadistic and making everyone freeaaaaak out about it. Either way, he shut down Renee and Lauren hardcore when they tried to kiss him, and then went ahead and kissed Clare anyway, AFTER she told him that the octopus had caused her to throw up in her mouth and then swallow it back down. WTH JP? She also started talking about her dad because apparently her dead father is her go-to conversation topic.

"Hi, I'm Clare, and the only things I talk about are my father and throw up."

At the end of this night, Andi got the rose. I like Andi, so I was satisfied that Juan Pablo's taste in women isn't 100% crap.

Finally, we had the cocktail party. All of the girls with roses agreed that they would back off and let the girls without roses get their crack at Juan Pablo, but then--scandal--Nikki talked to him anyway. This caused people to dislike her even more. She is quickly turning into the Tiara of this season. (Sorry, Ashley, I know you like her because she's a nurse.)

Nikki responded to all the haters with the same two things that all reality show villains say:

1) They are just threatened by me.
2) I'm not here to make friends.

Whatever, girl, I get you, but at least be original.

At the rose ceremony, Lauren and Elise went home. Bye-bye girls! My bets are that Danielle and Allison go home next because I literally don't think I've ever heard either of them talk.

Last but not least, Juan Pablo announced that they were leaving South Korea behind for Vietnam. We will see what happens there next week!

I'm sensing an Asian theme.

To Keep Our Blog from Being Entirely About the Bachelor

I've come to the conclusion that weekends shorter than three days are hardly worth having.

Zack was in Vegas all of last week so I was living up the single lyfe! It was a little lonely, but it also felt good to be an independent woman for the first time in a while.

Friday I went out to this bar called The Mad Hatter with my coworkers. We don't go out super often, so that was nice! Also, rail drinks were only $3, which is super cheap for DC.  I was supposed to meet up with A-A-ron but he didn't have his plans together early enough so I went home, ate Chipotle, drank wine and watched 30 Rock. So that's pretty much straight spinster life right there.

Saturday Morning Brie and I went to the Newseum. It's one of DC's not-free museums, but, unlike the Spy Museum, I definitely thought it was worth it! Also, if you get ticket it's good for two days. So if we ever decide to go, we can do shifts and pay half as much!

They had an interesting/sad 9/11 exhibit. It's the antenna from the top of one of the towers and headlines from around the world on September 12th.  There's one that just reads "BASTARDS" as the headline. I don't know where that one was from, but that definitely doesn't seem like the best headline, you know? Also, some woman thought it was really interesting that none of our teachers told us what was going on while we were in class that day. And that even though my friend told me "Two planes ran into a building," I didn't get what was going on until way later that night.

They also had a lot of JFK stuff, which makes sense.  They have a 90 foot screen that shows scenes from his life. It was pretty interesting, but I think it's temporary.

Also that feeds directly into something pretty much tailor-made for Teeners. It's called "Make Some Noise" and is all about the student movements during the 1960s. They have the actual table from one of the first sit ins in Greensboro, NC. They've got a ton of pictures, and a lot of descriptions. I'm sure it's all much to elementary for you, Teener--after all, she is published on the matter.

My favorite, though, was the Pulitzer Prize Photographs. It was a lot more like a history lesson that just the news. A lot about the Vietnam War, though, which is always sad, and very frustrating. But I think they did a good job sprinkling in happy/unbelievable photos too so you didn't get too down.

But, the most surprising thing at the Newseum, to me, was that freaking LL Cool J explains your first amendment rights to you?  I can't say I'm familiar with the entirety of his work, but I definitely didn't think ANY of it touched on first amendment rights. But... I guess it's to make constitutional rights "cool" and "hip."

After that we got Chinese food and met up with Mattan, who had decided to shave his head bald. Turns out I'm really freaked out by bald heads. They just look so...vulnerable. So, if any of you are considering going completely bald, don't be surprised if I ask you to cover up.

Then we met up with Aaron and a bunch of his friends and went to the Pistons game! I got to see my favorite person in the world: Greg Monroe. The Pistons beat the Wizards, but missed two free throws in the fourth quarter so everyone in the stadium got free Chik-fil-a! It was really the best combination of things from my perspective.

Sunday I made orgasm brownies:

They were less fudgy than I wanted, but still tasted good.

I was a little bit rushed because I had to go all the way out to Silver Spring for a painting thing with Brie. (It was kind of like I dated Brie this weekend instead of Zack--we did a lot of stuff together)

When we got there the lady said that she didn't have our reservation, but she'd squeeze us in anyway.  It was in a restaurant/bar so there were people like actually eating and trying to just be normal, so that was a little weird. Also, there was way less instruction than what you get at Painting with a Twist, which made the experience feel more stressful, I feel. This is what I ended up with:

I guess it looks nice. You know how when you've looked at something too long, all you see is the mistakes? That's where I'm at right now.  The colors are nice though.

Then I had to rush home because Zack was finally back! We had like an hour before we went to Elizabeth's house to watch the premier of Sherlock.  I like Sherlock, but the problem is that every episode is 90 minutes long, so it's like a REALLY big commitment to watch one episode.  Elizabeth really went all out and had "fish and chips" (chips with goldfish), shepherd's pie, scones, tea, cider, and beer. She's always good for things like that.

People think he's cute. I don't see it. Like, at all.

After we got home Zack was crazy tired. So we went to bed. We also had to go bed early to be in top shape for babbbiiessssssss. We finally got to see our baby friends!

Zack traditionally takes care of Ben and I cuddle with Eli. So that's what we did. Though I did make friends with Ben too. Also Max, the old boy, thinks Zack is really cool so they play together. BUT this time I was the cool one because I brought Max a space book! Both of his parents were like "Oh wow, we've never seen this one before. Good find!" I hadn't even considered that he might already the book I had bought, but luckily he didn't have the one I got! We had to read it three times before we left and he was super into it each time.

Space book, best book.

Also we ate sushi. And the babies were naked for a little while, which is always cute. Then we went home, thinking we would have to go to work in the morning. BUT THEN WE DIDN'T WOOOOOOO

I happened to wake up at 4:30, checked the website that says whether or not the federal government is open (it wasn't) and then went back to sleep. At 6:30 my boss texted me telling me not to come in. At 7:30 a bunch of my coworkers texted me asking if we had work. So really, my sleeping was all messed up. So I got up and made hash browns and pancakes. Then we ate and went back to sleep til noon. You know, adult life. By the way, this is what it looked like outside until about 10:00am:

Then we went to Chik-fil-a to cash in on my free sandwich! I made a small snowman outside. Then I bought floss-y-thingies and we went back home. It was actually starting to snow a little. But you know, not like a ton. In all I think we got about two and a half inches. I guess they had four in Maryland. So, big whoop. It eventually looked like this:

There was a little more later. But I didn't take a picture.

I got bored, so I busted out my sewing machine and completed a project I'd put off for one and a half years:

Senegal pilloowsssss. Pretty easy to make! And now our couch is a little classier, but a little less school spirited.

Then Zack made us a nice dinner:

Chicken, rice, wine. Yum.

Then I had to go into work and answer my kajillion emails. That was less good. But you know, you don't look gift snow days in the mouth.

Wine in a heart mug is the best way to watch

So I'm a day late watching this, because yesterday I had to go to a banquet for mlk. It was a very grown up thing to do, because I am a very grown up person. 

The bachelor episode starts with all the "coming up on this episode," and it looks like it's gonna be a good one! Someone gets called a child and someone else gets called a whore. Here we go. 

Cassandra got the first date, probably because JP recognizes that Michigan girls are the best kind. She has a son and is only 21! Their date starts with a drive in a jeep, then all of a sudden they are driving in the water, so I guess this jeep is like the Wild Thornberry's RV. Not a bad first date! Then they cook dinner together at his house and dance to Latin music. Jealous, Amy? Also they made out in the ocean. Also her baby is definitely some kind of ethnic. 

Renée, back at the house, continues to be the most socially graceful and nice contestant, also she is age appropriate for JP and a mom already, so she's my favorite. 

This is the photo quality that comes of phone blogging

The group date had a lot of people I can't remember, but not Elise and Chelsie or Claire and Kat. 

The group date is a soccer game: SURPRISE! Ali (the nanny) thinks she'll be the best. The 10 women have to split in two teams and play, so they get pretty competitive like winning will be the only way to marry JP. They were all provided with gold sports bras, which everyone knows enhance performance. Sharleen kept getting hit by th ball but took it like a champ. She's another favorite. 

Juan Pablo jersey in the background

Back at the house, Elise pretty much hates chelsie but pretends not to. She thinks she's getting the next one in one, which obviously means she won't. Chelsie does, more to come later. 

So the group date involved some drama at the end. JP kissed too many girls and they all think they've got the rose in the bag. Jokes on (most of) them. Nikki gets it! And the nurse didn't even have to stick her tongue in his mouth for it. 

For Chelsie's date, she had to "trust him," so she prepares by picking a pair of TOMs to wear. Elise still thinks he loves her, idiot. 

Elise talks to yet another woman about how secure her connection with JP is

Chelsie and JP get Venezuelan food and sky dive, which is pretty similar to every date I've ever been on. I think they had bubble tea, too! Just like Rachael! To test how much Chelsie trusts the man she just met a few weeks ago and who is dating 14 other women, JP throws her off a bridge. She passes and gets the rose. They also do some upside down snogging, Spider-Man style. 

After the usual 12 hour freak-out, they jump

Before the cocktail party, JP cooks the ladies breakfast and they have a little pool party and Kat puts JPs head in her crotch. Actually they just played chicken, so it was less gross than that. 

Well the rose ceremony had it's typical level of women complaining about not getting enough time and feeling insecure and to cut to the chase, Lucy and Christy go home. We will miss Lucy's free spirit, but probably not Christy because no one knew who she was anyway. I'm taking bets now to guess when Sharleen leaves

Well now I'm off to watch Denise play broom all, peace out!

Bachelor Sunday special with Morgan!

So it turns out that all of January/Juanuary there are special episodes if the bachelor on Sundays. This week is all about bachelor love stories and where are they now. Since most couples break up, this should be a short post.

1. Des and Chris: you might have forgotten because it was a pretty boring finale, but Des picked Chris (after crying for an hour because Brooks left). They live in Seattle and are getting a dog. That's it. 

2. Jason and Holly: I don't know who they are but they are married. It rained at their wedding. The have a daughter named Riley who is like 1 and adorable. Also Jason already had a kid, just like JP! They live in Seattle, too.

3. DeAnna: I guess she broke up with her man and has a new one. She is from an early season and I guess the contestants were uglier then because her man was bleh. Her current husband is the twin brother of a contestant from another season of the bachelorette, incest? They made a joke about Chris Harrison delivering their baby. At least I hope it was a joke. 

4. Ashley and JP: they feel like they've been together forever. He's Jewish. They're cute. They live in Princeton and she has baby fever!

5. Trista and Ryan: they've been married 10 years and are every other bachelor/ette's idols. They have 2 kids. He's a firefighter. When they renewed their vows he wore a paisley suit coat. Happy couples are boring, moving on. 

6. Sean and Catherine: don't believe this tabloid, they are still very much together. Sean tried to spin the story like he always liked Catherine best but I'm not buying it because he was all about Des and Tiara and basically everyone else. And she was probably in love with Leslie, who Ashley became good friends with in a Chicago bathroom. 

Sean is a born again virgin, which is an important detail of his life on this special. They are getting married next Sunday and they got to see the honeymoon suite aka the "consummation station." They are really excited to start their marriage in bed. 

Catherine is adorable and frolicked around the grounds. She's also pretty funny. 

Tomorrow is back to JP!

Love you Amy!

May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

So Clare gets one-on-one date numero uno.  JP comes to pick her up at the mansion and takes her to the same place where he and Camila played in the snow.  It's now a romantically lit winter wonderland with a full blown ice rink, sledding, and a hot tub of course.  The good news is I kind of feel like I'm on the Bachelor since Blakely Court is also an ice rink these days.  Clare spends a really long time talking about her dad and JP gives her a rose.  Then music is suddenly playing!  They get out of the hot tub to find Josh Krajcik, whoever the heck that is, singing a private concert for them.  They dance and make out (duh) and it fake snows, which Clare is for some reason overly excited about.  Basically a normal bachelor date with minimal weirdness.  Back at the mansion, a bunch of the girls go in the pool.  Lucy (Lucinda) is topless obviously.  Also, Kat gets the second one-on-one date card.  

Kat is a dancer, and JP apparently lovesss dancers (I totally should have tried out for the show!).  They head to the airport and take a private jet to Utah.  JP pretends to be her seatbelt, so that's a little weird. Then they both change into light up outfits with light savers and lots of glowy things.  Turns out that they are going to a neon light up 5k run and they are the ones who start the race! But it's not reallyyyy a race because the whole crowd stops to dance every once in a while.  When they finally get to the end, there is a stage and JP and Kat are called up on it.  They dance some more and he gives her a rose.  No kissing though.

Group date time!  All the girls except for a few go to a warehouse for a photo shoot.  The guy in charge: a man with a turquoise beard.  The girls will be taking photos with dogs to help get them adopted.  Each girl is assigned a dog and then their costumes, hair, and makeup are done to match the dog.  Most girls are excited, but Elise and Andi get the shaft.  Their costumes are just cardboard signs covering their boobs and junk.  Both of them are super unexcited about this, and luckily Elise gets Lucy to trade her ketchup/fire hydrant costume for Elise's sign costume....since she is "happy to take off her top, as always" and then goes for a naked walk with her dog on the side of the road.  During the photo shoot, there are lots of yummy shots of shirtless JP ;)  But the best picture comes when JP agrees to be in the cardboard sign photo with Andi.  There is a whole series of pictures with totally naked Andi, JP, and Lucy all up against each other with their dogs.  Awkward...

Highlights from later in the group date:
*Cassandra tells JP she has a two year old son. She also keeps calling him Juan which I hate
*Victoria gets smashed and says she's gonna straddle JP every day because "life is about straddling people". Also, she "gave Juan Pablo the hymen maneuver"and saved his life??  She starts screaming and says she wants to leave...and lucky for her, JP sends her home the next morning.  Smart man.
*Renee wants to kiss JP but doesn't.  But she gets points for being nice and taking care of psycho Victoria while she's having her drunken meltdown
*Nikki, the peds nurse, is obviously awesome
*Kelly gets the rose

The "hymen maneuver"

And at the cocktail hour...
*JP talks to all the girls who didn't get a date
*Amy does another interview about herself
*Charlene apologizes for being rude when he gave her the first impression rose
*Cassandra is sad because she misses her son, but Renee reassures her and they bond over their mommyness.  I really like Renee...probably more than Nikki even though she's not a nurse

And the rose ceremony...
*Amy and Chantel go buh-bye

Whew! Someone else's turn for week 3!

Fun Things! (Part 2--If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gon love someone else?)

The Saturday after TCAB left we went to our friend Stefany's birthday party. She happened to mention that RuPaul's Battle of the Seasons was coming to the 9:30 Club. She was definitely not prepared for how excited I was about it and seemed a little surprised when I explained who every queen on the playbill was.

This is the 9:30 club at capacity. It's no joke.

Then she invited me to go with her! So, obviously, I was super pumped.  We met up for drinks beforehand.  The line was CRAZY long but I knew Stefany and her mom had picked the tickets up from Will Call beforehand so I wasn't too worried. Then we went to go in a little after 9:00 and realized that super long line was the line to get in!!! It sucked, but it moved pretty fast so it wasn't so so bad.

When we got in, Stefany's mom suggested we get another round of drinks. We all got beers. Then out of nowhere, her mom suggests we all do shots too! I mean...it's Tuesday, so why wouldn't you do shots? So we did shots of whiskey. But they were really like double shots. Kinda more than I wanted to drink, but when someone buys you a shot, you can't not take it!

Michelle Visage did a song. Which is not a thing that I knew she could do. I thought she was just known for having huge boobs and hanging out with drag queens, but I guess she has some of her own talents. The the queens came out! First was Alaska. Her song is "Your Make Up Is Terrible":

I thought she was kind of annoying on the show, but I thought she was one of the better performers!

Then Carmen came out. I don't have good video of her because I was like half way back and she spent a lot of time on the floor (kind of a poor choice in my opinion, but she does what she wants).

 The point is she's incredibly hot. And does whatever she wants. Also she's becoming a transactivist, and not just a pretty lady, which I fully support.

Then Manila came out to Spongebob Square Pants because she dressed like a pineapple on the show.

She came back out later too looking like a pin cushion. She even got off the stage and walked into the crowd! I think she spent the most time actually performing.

Next was Phi Phi. I always think she's pretty whatever. I mean pretty, but not unique, you know?

Pandora Boxxx came out and did a stand up set. I didn't get any video because I had gone to the bathroom and wasn't standing with my friends and a super sassy gay guy was bullying me. He was like "Do you want to stand in front of me? Please. By all means. You clearly need to be here more than I do." And it was awkward. Then Elizabeth (Library of Congress Elizabeth) found me and pulled me up to her. Pandora was pretty funny and she also sang a song called Cooter?

Ivy Winters came out and I didn't really remember her very well from the show except that Ru had the most annoying voice for her. But she came out on stilts and did a pretty memorable bit!

Then Mimi Imfurst came out. And she sucks. She did this monologue from Wife Swap or whatever, and this monologue from Precious. Both of which I didn't really like. The first one is like a pretty obscure, old internet reference and I don't think a lot of the crown got it. And like, Precious is and should be a downer, not something a drag queen does for laughs. Also she was dressed as Dorothy.

Michele Visage came out, sang that song Queen Latifah sings in Chicago, which I really liked. Then they tried to make Alaska answer the questions people had tweeted in and it sucked. I think she was too drunk to really pull it off.

Then Sharon Needles came out and was really really weird. I mean anyone who watched the show knows she's weird, but this like wasn't the good kind of weird. This was her performance (make sure you make it full screen so you can fully appreciate it):

She never took the mask off and it was an original song that was a reallllll bigggg downnnerrrrrrrr. Whatever, everyone else was really impressive and it was a super long show!

So long that the metro had already closed. Which normally I don't let happen to me because it's so annoying to get back without the metro. But Stefany assured me she would drive me back. So we got into a cab, talked to our Somalian cabbie and headed to Rosslyn. If you guys remember, Rosslyn is where Zack works and isn't that far, BUT we had to drop off the other people with us, which involved going all the way to the end of the blue line and circling back.

So I didn't get back until 2, felt like crap and struggled all the way through Thursday and White House bowling. But, I'd do it all over again if I could!

Fun Things! (Part 1--La maison blanche)

Since TCAB left DC we've been doing pretty fun things. We were also doing fun things while they were here too. So really, we've been doing fun things for the last month.

This past Saturday we went to the White House for a tour! We might have mentioned it, but the tour we were supposed to take got canceled because of a snow day. Let me remind what a snow day looks like here:

You'll notice, there's not actually any snow. And while I was happy to have an unexpected (paid) day off from work, it was a little disappointing because if we had gone then, we would have seen all the Christmas decorations AND we could've taken pictures. But whatever. Over it.

The tour was really cool! We only went in the East Wing. So it wasn't really like we were on Teenie's favorite show--you have to know someone legit at the White House to go to there. The building itself was actually way smaller that I thought. It's really not that big of a place, but they really do like to cram in artwork. 

Highlights include:

Obama's Muslim Prayer Curtain. Or you know, maybe that's just the decor of the biggest room in the White House. Believe what you want, libtards--it's def covered in Arab symbols.

The China Room. Each president has the option to pick their own china pattern and have it made. Who knew Rutherford Hayes had such weird taste in China--or I mean I guess it was his wife that was the weirdo.

The Blue Room. It's big. Looks a little like Michigan. It's fancy.  There was a secret service guy in there who was telling us a lot of cool facts (none of which I remember).  Since it's a self-guided tour you have to rely on the secret service to answer your questions. I thought they were only gonna talk to us if we initiated the conversation but they were like real tour guides and were super friendly!

You can only take pictures outside so we did that. But, it was raining really hard so we didn't take too many. You gotta take what you can get, I guess.

With my Kruppcake, the guy who got us in!

I was pretty content with just going to the East Wing BUT on Monday, one of my coworkers asked me if I wanted to go bowling at the White House and a like team bonding thing! Uh, duh I want to go bowling at the White House! Also, I got to gloat because not everyone in the office got to go! So, suck it everyone who didn't get to go! (Jokes, they're all nice people.)

So after work we went to a bar to kill some time, picked up our pizza, and picked up beer and wine. It's funny, for the East Wing tour you couldn't bring your purse, you couldn't have your phone out, and you had to be sniffed by a dog.  For this, you could bring whatever food and drink you wanted and security was way more lax.

The bowling alley itself isn't actually that impressive:

It was built in 1947 by Truman and hasn't really been updated, other than to add goofy portraits of the presidents with bowling balls. But you know, you go to say you went, not for the high caliber of bowling. 

We split in to teams, and unfortunately my team lost. It wasn't one of my better bowling performances, if I'm honest. But you know, whatever. I went to the White House twice in a week. I'll probably be living there soon--nbd.

Here's some misc pics:

Samantha who you may (or may not) remember from New Years. Also Barack.

Look at that stance! Also, presidents don't have to wear bowling shoes?