Taylor doesn't love Amy enough to watch The Bachelor

I'll be honest with you: this season of The Bachelor is not that fun to watch. This is, of course, no excuse for Taylor to slack on her duties just because she has a life. Luckily, I've got a lot of time on my hands, so I'll cover for you with a short recap of this week's episode.

Andi + Nikki forever

This was the last week before hometown dates, so the women are pretty antsy. Remember, we have Sharleen, Andi, Nikki, Renee, Claire, and Chelsie left. We learned through this episode that Nikki and Andi are really good friends, and Nikki and Claire are really good enemies.
Obviously we are all on team Nikki there, because she may be a bitch but she's a funny one, and her eyebrows are not in a perpetually surprised face.
Sharleen got the first one-on-one in Miami, and repeatedly questioned whether or not she should be on the show anymore because it just didn't feel organic. She and JP like to kiss a lot, though, so it was hard for her to be sure if she should leave. Their date was on a yacht, and cuddling on deck seemed to be the main activity. After the date, Sharleen came back to the hotel and opened up to Renee, who told her that time means nothing and she should know by know whether or not she loves JP. Typically I like Renee's counseling style but this was pretty stupid.
The group date is with Renee, Claire, Chelsie, and Andi. They do things that I can't remember, I think on a beach, but the important thing about this date is there is a rose (there isn't one on the one-on-one dates), and whoever gets the rose moves forward to the night part of the date and the rest go home. Andi wins, and she and JP go dancing to Latin music in Miami. Turns out Andi is not a good dancer.

While the other women don't go dancing, they decide to be awkward in their hotel room. Nikki suspects they will say bad things about Andi, and she will not tolerate it so she leaves the awkward room. Claire thinks she has been disrespected so she chases her and they have an embarrassing girl fight. Two grown-ass women, supposedly ready to get married and help raise a child, and every other word out of their mouths is "like." TV doesn't get better than that.

Nikki's one-on-one date also involves dancing, because she goes to JP's daughter's dance recital. Camilla is super cute and speaks Spanish, which I know is just because she grew up speaking it but I am still really impressed. Also, JP's ex and Camilla's mom was there, she's a Venezuelan model. Try not to be intimidated Nikki-the-nurse-from-KansasCity.

 

Pretty cute

The rest of the date involved going to the Marlin's stadium where Juan Pablo "works" (we all know his full time job will be Bachelor publicity for the rest of his life). Nikki was wearing almost nothing which made me nervous for her to throw a baseball, but she managed to keep her boobs covered.

Back at the house, Sharleen sits everyone down (Nikki is home too) to say she is leaving. They pretend to be a little sad but are actually pumped because this makes their odds better. She then says goodbye to Juan Pablo, who is grateful for her honesty and is proving to be pretty good at comforting crying women. She leaves, and I will miss her because she is less annoying than everyone else. Not as much as I miss Kelly though, because that dog-lover was hilarious.

Kelly does a live commentary on twitter during the episode. So Funny.

Anyway the rose ceremony/cocktail party comes along. It's not too surprising that Chelsie is kicked off. JP cries saying goodbye to her and she tells him he is a great guy. In classic Bachelor style, she wonders in the limo when she will ever find love, because she is SO READY for it. Bye Chelsie.