JP the whore

Fabric shopping!  Also the only pic I could find of their date.

It's week 5 on the Bachelor and FINALLY my favorite Renee gets a one-on-one!!  I know you all think Nikki is my favorite, and don't get me wrong Renee would be 100x better if she was a nurse but she clearly has the best personality.  Anyways they're in Vietnam, and JP takes Renee to a dress shop and she gets a dress made just for her!  She ends up wearing the dress to dinner later that night...I thought it would be weird and not fit well but it's actually pretty cute.  Other activities that they do include talking on a boat, eating in a restaurant with no other people (hope they got paid a lot to have no customers that night...), and wishing on these little colorful floating lanterns.  Renee is obsessed with wanting to kiss JP and it's pretty much all she talks about during the interview things, but he doesn't want Ben (her son) to think badly of her so he holds off, but she does get the rose.  Overall, I feel like I want Renee to win but also I think she's a little too good for JP (kind of like the Lesley/Sean situation...maybe I'll meet her in person after she loses too!).

"The kiss"

 And then the group date! (duh).  Everyone except Nikki and Renee are on it because they're the best and have a cute little pow wow back at the house.  JP takes the girls to a river and they go rowing in little circular bamboo boats.  He tells everyone to pick a partner, but since there's an odd number and everyone hates Clare, she gets to be with him so I guess good for her for being a friendless bitch.  JP and Clare's boat ends up "accidentally" getting stuck in the bushes and they fall behind, so JP takes this opportunity to make out with Clare.  Let's face it, he's kind of a slut.  The other girls aren't stupid and obviously they see this and hate it, but they're all pretty good sports about it.  Afterwards, they all go to a Vietnamese home and help pick stuff from the garden to have for dinner.  Of course Clare is a picky eater again and JP even makes a joke about it.  But....he's obsessed with her so he picks her first to talk to that night and takes her to his suite where they basically have sex in the pool with their bathing suits on.  Oh wait, turns out they ACTUALLY have sex in the ocean at 4am that night!  Next he talks to Sharleen who I already don't like but she loses even more points when she describes her date as "organic" and says she wants him to see her as a panda in a room full of brown bears....wtf?  He also kisses her....i don't know why he keeps doing this with the worst ones.  And he kisses Andi.  Guess that's the theme of this date.  And surprise Clare gets the rose. Ew.

She survived!

Time for Nikki's date.  JP makes her rope down this cave because the point of this show is to freak out your date til she cries.  Nikki eventually gets up the courage and you guessed it, they kiss.  So much for a good impression on Camila. I'm sure she'll understand why he had to kiss five women and have sex with one this week.  While the first cave, called Hell, was super creepy with weird objects, Nikki and JP go to another cave for dinner and it's really cute and romantic.  Also they talk about nursing, which I obviously love and I'm only 86 days from being done with nursing school!!!  Also, I think she might say she loves him soon.  She gets the rose!

Well the cocktail party was super beautiful with boats and lanterns and other pretty stuff.  Renee FINALLY gets her kiss yay!  And JP tells Clare that he regrets having sex in the ocean because of his daughter.  Umm obviously he's not that concerned about his daughter if he can afford to be away from her for 2 seasons of the Bachelor and kissing ultimately wins in the contest of attraction vs. Camila's affection.  Of course Clare cries and takes up all JP's time as usual.

Kelly, Alli, and Danielle go bye bye. 8 remain.  And the objective rankings are:
1. Renee
2. Nikki
3. Chelsie
4. Andi
5. Kat
6. Cassandra
7. Sharleen
8. Clare

Teeny Bean's turn next week!