There and Back Again: A Bachelor's Tale

Somewhat embarrassingly, CART house follows The Bachelor/Bachelorette kind of intensely. Sometimes our friends watch with us and participate when we make brackets to bet on who is going to win. One of those friends is Amy. On the last season of The Bachelorette, there was a bachelor that Amy particularly liked. His name was Juan Pablo, and the reason that she liked him so much was because he is Latino and that's a thing that she's into. CRT also liked him, although Ashley didn't so much because for some reason his accent bothered her a lot. Sadly, Juan Pablo did not win Des's heart, but less sadly, he is now going to embark on a love journey of his own, as he is the bachelor (Bachelor?) this season! Because Amy is off adventuring in Latin America, CART is going to blog the show for her and keep her filled in.

(I don't know why I am explaining this. The odds that anyone who doesn't know all of this is reading this blog are slim to none, with an emphasis on the none.)

Without any further ado, let's get started!

On The Bacheor, it is considered a sign of success to receive a rose.

They started off with an episode called "The Countdown to Juan Pablo," which was code for "We just threw together some clips of shit because let's face it, you're kind of pathetic for watching this show in the first place and we know you'll watch this too." And they were right, I did! Ostensibly, the show was supposed to introduce you to the contestants and also tell you a little bit more about JP, but it mostly didn't tell me anything I didn't already know and I can't remember the names of any of the women who are going to be on the show. In the spirit of making this blog post meaningful, however, here are the things that I got from watching:

But then we knew that already.

1. Many of the women who applied to be on the show were crazy people.

2. Juan Pablo can pull off wearing pink shorts without appearing homosexual--props, bro.

3. Someone that Juan Pablo is related to (his sister?) and who Skyped into their family party is pregnant, and he's pretty pumped about it. Go her!

4. Juan Pablo really likes his daughter, Camila.

5. Juan Pablo doesn't really have a type--he has dated a variety of girls with different colors of hair and different professions, such as DJ, model, actress, and teacher. Which to me says I still have a chance, because I'm a teacher and I have hair.

Juan Pablo has 98% less boob, though.

6. Juan Pablo has been brushing up on his English, including his accent, and when he tries to say things without his accent he sounds like that Episode of Modern Family where Sophia Vergara tries not to have an accent. I like it.

7. Someone who was on the Bachelor before who was named Gia died in 2013. They had a segment about how people were sad and they remembered her. At first I wasn't sure how she died, but then at the end they had a suicide prevention hotline number, so it was probably that. It was a dark turn for the episode to take at the very end.




Anyway, that's about it. I will watch the premier tomorrow and will blog about that too. Hopefully there will be more exciting things that happen!